My partner at new alternative news venture DeltaFourth Matthew Kalman wrote on The Times of Israel about our ebook The Murder of Yasser Arafat, in which we show that a senior Palestinian from the leader’s inner circle poisoned him. One of The Times’ other columnists responded with a piece in which he said Arafat was offed by the Israeli Mossad.
The Israelis may – or may not – have provided the polonium used to wax Arafat. But they didn’t put it in his tea. That, we discovered, was left to one of his close advisers.
Still the Mossad is thought of as pretty much having a finger in every nasty pie, by everyone from Palestinian coffee vendors to British newspapermen to thriller writers the world over. So here it can be revealed for the first time, the tally of secret Mossad hits:
The Mossad killed Monty Python’s Graham Chapman. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
The Mossad killed Michael Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, and Roger Rabbit. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
The Mossad killed Che Guevara, JFK, Lee Harvey Oswald and Reinhard Heydrich. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
It assassinated Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi, and King Xerxes I of Persia. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
The Mossad killed Meir Kahane, Aldo Moro, Archduke Franz Ferdinand and Vlad Dracula. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
It joined forces with video to kill the Radio Star. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
The Mossad killed Snorri Sturluson, Lord Mountbatten, and Vlad Dracula again, this time for good with a silver bullet. But it didn’t kill Yasser Arafat.
It killed Olof Palme, Jill Dando, and Dick Cheney (though having used its silver bullet on Dracula that one didn’t stick.) But it didn’t kill Arafat.
The Mossad killed Thomas a Beckett, Simon Bocanegra, and Old Hamlet. But it didn’t…
There are more, but they’re far too dangerous to name. Naturally DeltaFourth will be delighted to hear if there are others you think we’ve missed.